Monday, January 18, 2010

Bebe La Strange

Being in the gaming industry, I have seen a lot. I have seen men and women do some of the most disgusting and private things in public with no concern for their own dignity. It takes a lot to shock me I am sad to say.

But tonight, I was actually shocked. I was speaking with another co-worker and she started telling me things I wish she had kept to herself. This was one of those one-sided conversations. She did most of the talking and all I could do was stand there and gawk with my jaw dropping.

She starts telling me who has slept with this one and that one and I was flabbergasted. Men and women that I thought were above such things. Married people sleeping with other married people.

I am not an innocent by any stretch of the imagination. I know this goes on everywhere. When you work in a mini version of Sodom and Gomorrah, you come to expect this. But gimme a break people!

Marriage takes work. A lot of work. Everyday. All day. I have been married twice. The first time, I was very young and we just parted ways. But not before I became the cheater. This time I was the hurt wife. So I know what it feels like on both sides of the fence. Trust me when I tell you, it sucks either way.

I am much closer to God now than I was in my first marriage. This does make a difference to me. I was more willing to try and work things out. But not before I acted down right Wal Martish about the whole thing. Why he wanted to stay with me still baffles me. But we both decided to work it out. And it is still hard even after all these years.

Do I still think about it? Not so much anymore. Do I worry that he will cheat again? No. I had grounds for divorce in the eyes of God and he wanted to go the whole counseling route. That was UGLY. But we got through it. Are we stronger now? Yes and no. Some things just take longer to heal than others.

If you aren't willing to face your problems together and work them out, why hurt someone else with your own selfish desires? I have no tolerance for this in any marriage. It infuriates me to no end. Now people I actually liked and enjoyed working with are forever tarnished in my eyes. I wish she had just kept her bloody mouth shut. I didn't ask for this information and now I wish I never heard any of it.

I know Heart's song has nothing to do with cheating, but in the spirit of slang, "strange" is a good "g" word for my subject matter.


  1. Tracy said...
    Yeah people are strange indeed.

    Sorry that she had to tell you stuff you don't need to know about co workers that makes you less comfortable about them. May God somehow use this as a way for you to reach out to some of these folks.

    I agree that marriage is hard. My beloved is fond of saying that we have to extend a lot of grace to each other in marriage. It's easier for me now simply because I've faced so much that I don't like about myself, so how can I be tough on him?
    That corgi :) said...
    makes you wonder why she felt the "need" to tell you these things. Was she being malicious or "just" a gossiper? Do you think she was telling you the truth?

    marriage is hard; I'm glad you and your husband are working it out although I know there was tons of pain and suffering and wonderings involved. I have thought that the reason God hates divorce is what it does to people; takes people who pledged love to each other sometimes to say and do the most hurtful things as they go through their divorce.

    Inge' said...
    I find myself hoping the very thing you mentioned. I don't like feeling as judgmental as she sounded.

    At one time, I would have enjoyed talking with her along these lines. Try as we may, it is hard not to listen to someone's dirty laundry being aired. But now, I just don't want to hear it.

    I have come to the conclusion that since I didn't see it with my own eyes and neither did she, that I have no right to feel such pain and disappointment in the people in question. I have not walked in their shoes and as far as I am concerned this is an issue between them and God. I do have some new folks to pray for now and that is never a bad thing!

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