Thursday, May 14, 2009

Unconditional Respect

My newest quest is to learn to respect my husband as directed by God in the Bible. This is no easy task. We as a society have been taught that respect should be earned not given especially not given unconditionally.

The book of 1Peter is clear about our roles as husband and wives. We are to remain respectful to our husbands even if they are non-believers by our demeanor and speech. Even if they act or speak in a way that we deem unworthy of our respect. This is an insurmountable task for us all. But it is a task worth undertaking if we are to be the wives God intended us to be.

What I am learning about myself and other women that I observe, is that what we do more often than not, is hold our husbands in contempt. We do this in public with our looks and tone of voice. But in private, our words cut straight to the heart. Then we wonder why they don't act loving towards us. This is a vicious cycle that a lot of marriages/relationships get in.

Contempt is such a hateful word. When I realized that this is what we are feeling when we disrespect our husbands, I was alarmed to say the least. I love my husband warts and all. I could never hold him in contempt could I? Yes I have is the honest answer.

Having faced this harsh truth about myself, I now have to change the way I think of my husband. If I desire that he love me unconditionally, then I must learn to respect unconditionally. This does not mean that we won't fight. That is an unrealistic dream. But when we do, I will be able to voice my view with a more tender heart towards him and in doing so maybe, just maybe, the respect I feel for him will shine through.


  1. Greg said...
    goodluck in your journey
    Cyn City said...
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Respect is a very important aspect to all relationships. It takes maturity to set the ego aside and recognize when you are not coming from a place of love and respect. The stresses and frustrations in life can often get the better of us, especially when caring for someone with dementia/AD.I found that a lot of times we lash out at the people we are closest to like a spouse because you are less apprehensive about offending that person. They can take it. Or they are less likely to leave you hanging. Unfortunately this is a very errosive thing if it goes unchecked.
    John said...
    That can be very, very tough - unconditional respect. I had always believed that respect is a mutual thing. You might be able to respect someone "unconditionally" for a while, but if that someone keeps on doing things that causes you to lose respect for him/her, it gets harder and harder and harder to keep up the respect. It's really really tough... I am facing somebody like that in my office, and forgive me for my language, but I had given up on that bitch. All the best and I'm proud of you for taking up this challenge :)

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