Thursday, October 8, 2009

My grandmother rarely asks about other family members. She just doesn't remember them anymore. Occasionally she will ask about this one or that one. Usually she will tell me who is no longer living that she remembers.

This week while visiting her, Granny asked about her second husband. I usually handle this one of 2 ways depending on how she phrases it. If she tells me he is gone, then I know she knows he is dead. But, if she asks me if I have seen him, I know she has no idea that he is no longer living. So she asks me if I have seen him. I tell her no. Then she asks about his whereabouts. Since he used to work on an off-shore oil rig, that is what I tell her. He is working. So she waits a few minutes and asks me if he is coming to see her today. Again, I tell her no that he is working.

Now, my biggest concern is always for Granny's emotional well-being. I do not want to upset her ever. I cannot bring myself to tell her that the people she is asking about are no longer living.

But....I almost always walk away feeling guilty because I lied to her. I know full well how God feels about sin. But I also know that God knows my heart. Still, I can't help but wonder, does God forgive me this? Should I keep confessing this because it is sin or is there some comfort in His word that I have missed?

I don't mean to sound so spiritually immature. I usually know how to handle such things. I think my recent lackadaisical attitude towards my studies has a lot to do with this.

I am curious as to what your thoughts are on this issue. Will keep you posted. By the way, the flower I chose for this post is the "Forget-Me-Not".


  1. a corgi said...
    I think you are showing compassion to your grandmother. I think that is what Jesus would have done too. For her to hear that her loved one is gone, and she has forgotten he is no longer living, that could be devastating for her perhaps especially since the next time she might or might not remember he's no longer living. I think like you said God knows your heart and your heart is kind

    a corgi said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    a corgi said...
    I deleted a comment because it posted twice; I guess I pushed enter twice or something; but it was the same comment as my first one :)

    sorry about that

    Christy said...
    Although we know lying is a sin, what you are doing is loving your grandma. Only God can tell you what you wander on. Pray to Him to get the answers you seek. I myself think there is not a thing wrong with what you are doing.

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