Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Surprise Ending?


One of my favorite quotes is from A.W.Tozer. "It is doubtful that God can bless a man greatly, until He has hurt him deeply." If you have never read any of Tozer's books, then you are truly missing out on something good.

I have thought about this quote and what it means a lot. For most of us, myself included, it takes great pain being brought upon us before we seek God. I am not saying that God hurts us. What He does is allow hurt to come into our lives so that we can be broken and seek Him out. This is what has happened to me over and over again.

I finally quit acting like Jonah, and called my sister yesterday. I thought that I had imagined every possible scenario that could be played out. I must confess that they all involved angry words by either or both of us. This is what has kept me from trying to resolve this situation. I just didn't want to go down that path.

But, what transpired was nothing that I could have imagined. There was indifference on her part. It was like I was talking to someone I just met. It was odd. While we did discuss some issues that were between us, none of it was from the past. We did manage to stay on point and to talk in a civil way with no hurtful words being spoken by either one of us.

What I realized when the conversation was over is that my sister has no desire to have any kind of relationship with me. While this is very painful, I can truly say that I finally have peace about this situation. I am not sure how God will use this in my life, but I know that He will. My prayer is that when my sister thinks of this conversation, that she thinks not of me and what might have been said or even what was said, but that she think of her own relationship with God. That is the goal. The only goal that really matters.

I heard another great quote today and I wanted to leave you with it. I believe in sharing the wealth:) I just wish I knew who said it.
"It is hard t be a living sacrifice if you keep crawling off the altar."

7 Comments:

  1. Expat From Hell said...
    HUGE post, my friend! HUGE. I am so proud and inspired by what you did. And now, you have done your work. God will do the rest. My question to you now is, can you stand being left out there - unconnected to your sister. I have suffered a similar experience with my brother, and have trouble at times being left "out there" so isolated. Thanks again for this great and courageous post! EFH
    Inge' said...
    EFH,
    We have not spoken in so many years, that I already do feel isolated in a way. I know this will be different now.

    I don't know how I will handle this, but I have faith and can draw strength from God.

    Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. They do mean a lot to me.
    Vodka Logic said...
    Brave of you to post this blog. I have a poor relationship with my sisters, one is trying the other isn't...and she is the "God fearing" one.

    I hate that God allows us pain..seems heartless.
    Inge' said...
    VL,
    I am so sorry to hear about you and your sister. I know the pain you are going through.

    Unfortunately, some of us focus on the "splinter" in another's eye and forget about the "beam" in our own. I pray that you and your sister can come to terms with each other soon.

    I know that it feels heartless when we are going through our pain. But God is there and waiting for us to lean on Him. While the situation may not change, you will have a level of comfort that you cannot achieve on your own.

    To finally have peace about this after so many years is truly a wonderful thing. I hope you are able to resolve your issues with your sister and know this peace very soon.
    Tracy said...
    I'm constantly crawling off the alter. I'm sure grateful for His forgiveness and that I can repent and seek anew to die to my sinful desires and selfishness.

    I'm so glad to read that your phone conversation with your sister was civil and not going down paths from the past. I'm sorry that she does not want a relationship with you, her sister, but rejoice with you at the peace God is giving you. I always feel like resolved is so much better than uncertainty.

    My husband John sometimes will quote Tozer and you've written about him a few times here. I'm gonna have to read something by him; even if our local library (and those connected with it) don't have any books by him.
    Inge' said...
    Tracy,
    Thank you for your kind words! i also think resolved is better than uncertainty.

    I too am always crawling off the altar! It is a constant struggle to stay on the narrow path daily.

    You might try the net for some Tozer to read. I think you will really enjoy him!
    That corgi :) said...
    I do believe I have read one of Tozer's books, but I can't remember the name right now; he was a gifted man of the Lord for sure

    I'm continually crawling off the altar myself, one day I may get it right

    you did the right thing trying to reconcile with your sister. Although it didn't work out to restore or make a new relationship, at least you made an effort to try to get along with her and resolve differences. I think God will honor that in the days ahead

    betty

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