Friday, January 29, 2010

The Big C

As most of you know, my husband has started having a few health issues. He talked with his doctor today and the news is stressful at best.

When he went to get his blood work done, they notice his lungs looked "cloudy" on his chest x-ray. They scheduled a CAT scan last week. Today they told him over the phone that he has 2 nodules on his right lung.

Needless to say, I am very worried. I have started doing a little research on the net to find out what all of this means. Apparently, size matters in this case. The smaller the nodule, the more likely it is benign. If this is something that has shown up on previous x-rays, CAT scans, etc. and has not grown in size, that is also encouraging.

"D" says that he has not had a chest x-ray recently. but, I think he has when he was diagnosed with pneumonia a few months ago.

I have to keep telling myself that God knew we would face this and He already knows the outcome. I have prayed that God would do whatever it takes to show my husband that he needs God in his life. I don't know if this is his wake-up call or not. I am praying that this will be the catalyst that opens his eyes.

I would like to say that we have had a wonderful marriage and have always been kind and considerate of one another. I would like to say that he is my best friend and has always been so. But the truth is we have clashed more than I would care to recount. We are like 2 bulls in a china shop. We have hurt one another in many ways over the years.

But, I still love him. I still cannot picture my life without him in it. If given the chance to do things over again, like most of you I would change a lot in my life. But, I would still want him to be a part of it.

We have forgiven each other much. We have learned from some of our mistakes and seemed to be destined to constantly repeat others. But, God has gotten us through much. He has shown me my own shortcomings and given me the humility to go to my husband and confess these same shortcomings to him.

Now God is getting us both through this in a way that we can handle. I just pray that His way with "D" is the way that leads to the cross.


  1. Expat From Hell said...
    God always scares me. His ways are definitely not mine. You are courageous and forthright to write about this situation in your post. I admire you. Such direct honesty and self-examination. My prayer is that He reveals Himself to both of you during this trial. "Count it all joy..." Easier said (or written) than done, huh? Blessings on your home.... EFH
    Inge' said...
    Thank you for the high compliments. I must admit I don't feel very courageous right now.

    It's funny that you would mention that particular verse. I am listening to a series of sermons on that very thing!

    I thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I know what you and yours are enduring at this time and you consideration for me is very heartwarming!

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