Dementia for 2

I know that I have not been blogging a lot lately, but, I did not realize how many others are in the same boat. Some bloggers that I follow no longer even keep a blog.

My grandmother has been doing rather well and I didn't want to write about my woes. It would seem as though some of you are going through the same thing. I don't like to whine about all my troubles so I have just neglected to write about anything at all.

I seem to repeat my past over and over with just ever so slight changes in scenery. Who wants to hear about that all the time?! Not me that is for sure. It is bad enough that I seem to be living it over and over like a bad rerun.

I have heard it said that there is always someone worse off than you and I do believe that to be true. Especially within my own family it would seem. I have at least 2 relatives that are having a really hard time right now.

Both of these women are extremely bitter about things that happened YEARS ago. So long ago that I don't even think they remember the true details. It is really sad because they spill that poison over into all their other relationships.

When I look back at my own life and see where I allowed my own bitterness to color my decisions and relationships, I am amazed that no one brought this to my attention. But, I have to stop and think about how I was/am when I am in that frame of mind. I just don't want to hear what you have to say. I want to be the victim and that is all there is to it.

We seem to get so caught up in the details that we lose sight of the reason why we are where we are in life. While it may not be totally our own doing, we definitely have a hand in determining the fate of our lives.

I am just so TIRED. I have started to feel like there is no reason to keep on keeping on. I just want to rest. Maybe all of this is starting to get me a little depressed I don't know. I just know that something has to give or I feel like I am going to break.