Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Leaving On A Jet Plane


My son has decided albeit rather quickly, to leave for Texas. I know I should be excited for him. This is a new adventure. A chance to "start fresh". A very enviable position to be in for sure. Why can't I stop crying if this is so great?

But I am a mom with all of a mom's fears and worries. I am afraid that he is running from himself. That has a way of catching up to you rather quickly. I worry that he will get out there and get stuck and have to much pride to call home. I worry that it will be to easy to forget he has a son here that loves and adores him. I worry he will get mixed up with the wrong crowd again and this time the outcome will be very dire indeed.

But, I also know that this may be the only way God can reach him. It may take some hard knocks away from mom and her "help" to get right with God again. How do you "let go and let God?" What does that really mean?

A new page is turning for all of us. I am not sure he even realizes how much he means to so many. Since his conception I have never been separated from him or his sister. If this is what cutting the apron strings feels like, you can keep it.

I am going to miss the late night conversations, early morning breakfasts, card games and board games. I am going to miss waking up and finding out he has come and raided the fridge in the night. No more teasing him about cutting his hair or all the constant calls from the fairer sex. No weekend cook outs and trick or treating with little "J".

I am going to truly miss my son.

2 Comments:

  1. That corgi :) said...
    hugs to you; I wish your son best! I hope it works out for him and he doesn't fall into the wrong crowd, makes wrong decisions, etc but maybe this is how God is working in his life so we have to trust in God's timing and God's protection over your son. I know you pray for him; just keep praying and remember God is faithful!

    I can so totally relate. Son moved out when we moved down here six months ago (he had briefly moved out three years ago for three months but then was back with us). I TRULY MISS HIM. I have to stop and catch myself at times and "breathe" because I get consumed worrying about it and wondering "is he eating", "is he okay?" etc. But I just keep praying and trusting in God. I'd welcome him back tomorrow if he wanted to move back with us.

    Yet we have to let them go as hard as it is.

    I cried for weeks the first time he moved out; the past move I teared up but I knew it was time for him to try to make it on his own (he's 22).

    Just trust God and keep praying!

    betty
    Tracy said...
    Hope all goes well for your son and with his son too.

    Letting go really is hard. I live in California and my oldest son (age 23)is currently living in North Carolina; and I know how much I miss him.

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